I spent Memorial Day weekend with family living the good life: sitting on a covered patio in the middle of nowhere eating great food and watching my dog run in happy circles. I also had the pleasure of hearing my Dad give a speech.
Now, this talk didn’t look a lot like the ones I’m normally at. Instead of a conference hall or convention center, this speech was set in a cemetery. The crowd looked a little different, too, I realized quickly as I heard the revving of motorcycle engines pull up behind me as we walked up the short hill to the podium in the middle of the field.
Across the hill where people had been laid to rest, a white cross and small American flag were placed next to the tombstones of each person that served in the military. In this quiet graveyard in rural Oregon, there were a lot of these crosses. Clearly veterans are big fans of living their post-service life in this small town, my Dad included.
In his brief speech, I was surprised not to hear a speech about the great cost of freedom and the value of service, although I know they are both values my Dad holds dear. Instead, he gave a speech about living a good life.
Understanding what it means to live a good life has been the topic of researchers from Aristotle to now. Clearly it’s an important subject. It’s something I imagine most people aspire to – that good life. Knowing what that actually means for you? Well, that’s a topic with a lot of nuance. One I’ve written about a lot in my letters over all these years.
My Dad had some advice I think we could all use on living a good life. Instead of trying to recap it for you, I will just share it verbatim because I don’t really think I can say it any better myself.
Here’s what he shared:
We have all heard many speak about it and read much on the subject of a good life. Some think it is about success and accomplishment. Others think it is about money and things. Some think it is about people, love, and family. Still others think it is about food, travel, adventure, meaningful work, independence, friendship and pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with these things, unless these things are all you have. Because even all of these things together will not deliver the good life.
There is only one ingredient essential to the good life. So essential that without it, the good life is impossible. You would think that such an ingredient would be widely sought after. It isn’t. You would think such an ingredient was scarce. It isn’t. You would think such an ingredient is expensive. It isn’t. You might think people would be clamoring to get their hands on it. They aren’t. When people talk about the good life you get the impression that it is something mysterious and only available to a select few people. This isn’t true.
There is no secret to the good life. It isn’t a mystery. No exceptional talent is required. It isn’t only for the rich and famous. It is available to everyone, everywhere, and at all times. What is the essential ingredient of a good life? Goodness itself. The secret has always been right before our very eyes.
If you wish to live a good life, fill your life with goodness. Fill your life with love, kindness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity. Take risks with your goodness. Test the limits of your goodness. Don’t just love, astonish people with your love. Don’t just dabble in generosity, live a life of staggering generosity.
How would your life change if your only goal was to do as much good as possible? Don’t let that question remain unanswered. Celebrate goodness every chance you get and remember each day those who provided you with this opportunity through their sacrifice.
I guess I know where I get this letter-writing-about-life thing from now.