I started writing the scariest job postings blog as a joke the year I started Three Ears Media. Genuinely, it was funny to me that I could Google any word - purple, elephant, I mean any - and find bad job postings. There's 2020's Scariest Job Posting, 2021's Top 5 Scary Job Posts, or my favorite - 2019's 6 Scariest Job Postings I've Ever Read.

It has become such a tradition that year round, people send me all of these God awful posts with a lot of random words - and some that are a little too common. You know the ones I banned - collaboration, team player, buzz, buzz. Words that mean a lot with context but mean nothing the way they're used in most job postings. The more, the scarier.

But this year, as I watch the headlines about layoffs looming, sharp declines in open jobs, and uncertainty in the market, I think all of this is scary for a whole different reason.

Job Postings Can't Get Scarier

I won't begin to predict what's happening next with the economy (I'll leave that to people much smarter than me), but I know that we have to start getting better about explaining requirements. We have to start hiring the right person for the right thing - a thing we've taken the time to identify beyond "I'm working too much and need to hire someone."

The guessing that happens between "I want to hire" and the first job posting is exactly what makes these job postings so scary. These people are making decisions about someone's future without certainty on what they're looking for, let alone the security of the job.

On the other side is a person - someone who needs a gig to pay their bills. The person who wants to change and is willing to change everything for a new job. This job post is more than just a list of requirements for the reader. It's a story they can imagine living and that means we need to write something that won't scare them back into a job that isn't good for them.

The Job Postings That Scared Us The Most

The bar is low, but these scary job postings take it even lower. Prepare to be entertained by the most cringeworthy of 2022.

I guess you could call this clarity but the only thing they're making clear is the biases here.

Passion for pay, only.

I actually asked someone on my team to translate this one, it's that bad. You should see the reactions on Twitter.