TW/CW: Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Related Themes
When I started Three Ears Media, I was determined to create a company that wasn't like all those places I worked where we were expected to "put on a game face" and "push ourselves." That expectation hurt me a lot in life. It convinced me that work should come before everything, but most certainly before self care. The consequence of those unspoken rules was that I kept my struggles a secret.
Today, I'm proud to say that value is strong in my company. My team knows they can be honest about what's really happening in their lives - the struggles, the frustrations, and the wins, too. We can talk about hard things and it won't be weird or awkward. I expect them to be who they are. I know that no one can do their best work when their minds are occupied with everything but that. Been there. Done that. Would never ask it of anyone else.
That's why this week's letter is not from me but someone else on the team that has decided to be brave in speaking their truth. Friends, meet Melissa (connect with her here). She is the creator of Moss Puppy Magazine and someone I rely on to make Three Ears Media successful. She's celebrating a life milestone and this week, she decided to celebrate with my team and all of you, too.
Written August 30, 2024
Twelve years ago today, I hit my lowest weight due to my eating disorder. After a night out celebrating my parents’ anniversary—a marriage that didn’t last—I experienced a severe nosebleed that wouldn’t stop, leading me to the emergency room. Despite being classified as underweight and showing symptoms of anorexia, the doctors didn’t comment on my condition.
Eleven years ago today, I decided enough was enough. I began my recovery journey. Yes, this means that last year marked a decade of recovery. A big milestone I’d been looking forward to. I chose not to celebrate because I had relapsed quite significantly and felt overwhelmed with shame. This year, while I’m still dealing with the aftermath of that relapse, I also want to celebrate my progress in other areas.
Because, I’ve come to realize that my recovery is more complex than just overcoming an eating disorder. My upbringing left me with CPTSD, a variety of traumas, and other issues I’m still addressing. Healing isn’t linear; it’s not a straightforward path. Although I relapsed last year, I’ve made significant strides in other areas of my recovery. Those advancements deserve recognition, too!
So, I’m shifting today’s significance. Instead of marking it solely as my eating disorder recovery anniversary, I’m now celebrating it as my general recovery anniversary—the day I committed to healing and improving my life for myself.
Over these eleven years, I’ve gained profound insights about life, myself, and those around me. My relationships with myself and my loved ones have evolved. Though I’m still learning and working through things in therapy, each year equips me with new tools for my healing journey.
Here’s to my decade of recovery, which I failed to celebrate last year, and here’s to my eleventh anniversary today, too. Keep going. Keep healing. Adjust your perspective. You’re doing better than you realize, and you deserve to give yourself more credit.
If you’re on a similar journey, remember that every step forward is a victory. Embrace your progress, celebrate your milestones, and be kind to yourself. Share your story or connect with others who understand—together, we can continue to heal and grow.
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