I spent last Friday with the new chapter presidents of SMPS, the Society of Marketing Professionals in Architecture, Engineering and Construction. I was there to talk about my book, The Bounce Back Factor, offering advice for resilience, confidence, and attracting new volunteers. I have to imagine it’s a weird time to be a leader of volunteers in every industry. So many people are burnt out and the first thing they’re cutting? Everything that feels extra - including many personal development opportunities.  But not these folks. In this moment, they’ve decided to step in and step up. I wanted to leave them inspired. 

The first thing we did? We wrote what I call “lunch box pep talks” on the back of some postcards I printed with pictures from van life (you can buy some here). I got the idea from the annual birthday letters I write to myself to open 1 year later. In this case, at each round table, they wrote one “you got this” type message and passed it to the next person until the card was filled with inspiration. Then, I had them stick it in an envelope and address it. I’m going to mail them in a few months, long after they’ve marched into their roles. A little sneak attack of inspiration never hurt anybody, right? 

Then, we talked about van life because leadership, just like my trip, is an adventure. An adventure that requires resilience, confidence, and knowing when to quit. Yes, I said quit. I know this group needed it because I got a message from one of the volunteers a few days after the session. She said:

“I fully intend to use the 'why not' mantra, show up with good energy, and recognize when I need to quit. So that last one is going to be hardest, but it’s a personal life goal for me. Honestly, I can’t tell you the last time anyone told said it was ok to quit.” 

Whenever I bring up the idea of quitting, I usually get a few side eyes or questioning looks from the audience. Quit is the ugly Q word in every room. I most certainly wasn’t taught that it was ok to quit. I always associated it with a failure, as if quitting meant I simply wasn’t good enough or smart enough to figure it out. I most certainly didn’t want to be labeled a quitter, so I just kept going. 

In fairness, I get why they’re worried. When you open the story with “I sold everything and moved into a van,” most people are scared I’m going to tell them they need to quit their job, their marriage, or make another enormous quit. But no one has to reroute their life to learn to quit. You need to make small quits all the time - like quitting that running program you dread or the book you can’t get through. There’s a little library just waiting for that book. 

Unfortunately, small quits aren’t any easier than big quits. They still come with all the heaviness of wondering if you’ve done the wrong thing or if you’re failing. It’s like we’re all just doing math to calculate our goodness and quitting feels like a subtraction error. Who would choose that? 

I know just how hard quitting is. It’s by far the hardest lesson of all for me. The first few years of Three Ears Media, I wasn’t always busy with work but I was always busy because I treated everything with equal importance. Coming from corporate America, our team did all the things. Somehow, as a team of one, I thought I could, too. To no one’s surprise, that wasn’t a magical formula for success. It was the beginning of a burn out that would have me questioning everything and ultimately getting rid of all my stuff to go travel. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone - the burn out, not the van life. That part was fun. 

So, for all of you wondering and weighing what big or small things need to be part of your life, who are just trying to get the math right, I’m here to remind you it’s absolutely ok to quit something to make room to grow.