There’s this van lifer I follow on Instagram - KyleGoesOff - that I found just weeks before I started my van adventure almost 5 years ago now. Kyle is a videographer. He’s much better about capturing the moments that make van life beautiful than I ever could. The way he strings together a story? Incredible - especially when you consider he’s doing it all with his phone.
Kyle didn’t get into van life selling vintage clothes or losing his job during COVID like so many other people who capture their life on video for Instagram. He was a type-A overachiever like me. The guy got an engineering degree and started a business that was featured on Shark Tank before he turned 30.
Then, instead of pursuing more success or the next big thing, he stopped. He decided to save money by scaling his life down to a car (now a van) and travel the country. In his recent reflection on the last few years he said, “I felt guilty for every minute I wasn’t moving forward.” The pressure of capturing van life for monetization had become too much. He took a step back to think about what was most important. This video was his return to Instagram and chasing what matters most to him: a life well lived.
As much as the headlines want to make us believe Gen Z is different, they are feeling the same guilt I was as a 20-something. On paper, I was doing ok. I had a new car, a job at a company everyone had heard of before, and a catchy job title. I was a Social Media Ninja and I have the business cards to prove it.
As much as I felt proud of my progress, I never stopped to celebrate. Instead, like Kyle, I just felt guilty every time I made a choice that didn’t feel like some leap forward. My measure of success was my savings account. I felt guilty spending a penny on the now, always preparing for a future where everything felt uncertain. The cost? Experiences. Joy. Time with the people I loved most who aren’t here to spend time with me now.
I think we’ve all been in that place - if I can just accomplish that thing, then I’ll relax. Then I’ll rest. Then I’ll travel. Then I’ll feel successful. When you’ve broken that promise to yourself like I have, you also know what happens next. At some point, we crash.
Looking back at my own life lined with self-imposed guilt and illusions of important achievements, I think what bothers me the most is that the goals didn’t matter. Genuinely, it did not matter if I had 8,500 followers or 10k. It did not matter if I made that extra $5000 per year in my salary. But boy did I kick my ass over with the belief that I wasn’t achieving something.
Our society doesn’t encourage people to slow down until they have a reason - a scary diagnosis or condition that stops them in their tracks. It’s almost like you have to be special enough to focus on what matters. The conditions have to be just right. As if we never had a choice.
Maybe that’s what is different about Gen Z. They know they have a choice and Kyle reminded me that I do, too. That’s why I, for the first time after almost 5 years of watching, opened up the comments and typed: You’re learning the stuff it took me 40 years of my life to learn. Chase what matters and slow down when you’re running for no reason. We’re cheering for you.
I’m cheering for you, too. It’s really ok to slow down and only chase what matters to you. No guilt.
