Have you ever received an email from a recruiter that was utterly irrelevant to whatever job you actually do? I get a lot of emails about telemarketing roles and marketing jobs. Both of which I would have been overqualified to do in 11th grade, even though they require a college degree.

What's even more offensive than the miserable salaries they suggest? 

The way they ask in the first place. It sets the tone that an email from a recruiter isn't an opportunity but something to be ignored and deleted before you even read the preview. 

It happens every single day. 

So, in jest, I've written the Best/Worst Recruiting Email ever. It's a mix of the best terrible templated language I could find. I didn't add a splash of the signature Three Ears snark because let's face it, that would make these better than they are.  

Hi %first%name%,

I am a tech recruiter. I came across your profile on LinkedIn. I am very impressed by your backgrounds. 

I have an exciting opportunity in your area for Senior Java Ninjas II. We are currently seeking a highly collaborative rockstar to elevate our collaboration. Culture fit a must!

Based on your background, you seem perfect for the job. If not, let me know if you know anyone who would be a good fit for this job. 

Please send me a copy of your resume. 

Robert

*Please note, only successful candidates will be contacted.

Most recruiting emails fail. So, we wrote the book on how to write an email that doesn't get deleted. You can get your copy here to learn more about subject lines, research and more. 

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