When I lived in the van, I felt better than I ever have. One obvious reason to list: I was reading less news. I was also doing things I never thought to do when I lived in a house and had a routine. It’s easy to skip taking lots of little walks outside when your bathroom is down the hall instead of a quarter mile walk in one direction. Yes, really. So many pee pee dances.  

I remember wondering if I could ever go back to a “normal” life and be happy. After beating myself up far too long wondering what was wrong with me, I decided to do one of those corny journal prompts that was following me online. It said, “what are you doing when you feel good?” I opened up my journal and on the inside cover I wrote in all capital letters: THINGS THAT ARE GOOD FOR ME. Then, I made a list of what I was doing during van life when I felt really good - about myself, about my life, about my work, etc. 

I want to be clear that these were not life altering or even creative things. Frankly, I don’t feel my best when doing something for the first time or taking big risks. In fact, that feels like shit. What feels good for me is spending more time with the sun on my face. Not eating things I’m allergic to, like gluten, even if I do love all things pastry. Skipping the second drink. 

I realize this is not surprising and it doesn't counter advice in any health magazine. Doesn’t cost a bunch of money. I’m sharing it with you right now because finding joy in the mundane feels like a great way to resist the chaos of the world. 

This news cycle is a lot. The fear is a lot. The “what the f*ck” feeling is a lot. If you ask me, the best way to resist right now?  Don’t. Don’t be focused on being oppositional and trying to create this equal but opposite reaction to outrageousness. Focus on what you’re good at. One thing you have to be good at to survive in uncertainty? Learning how to be good to yourself.  Then, we can share our goodness with others. 

Everything you learn, every ounce of energy you dedicate to becoming great at something is a gift you can share. That is resistance, too. I'm not saying shut down or hide. I'm saying fill your cup. 

For me, that means empowering candidates and making sure recruiters know how to build equity into their recruiting process. No more policy pushing bullshit, y’all. For you, maybe it’s volunteering at the church. Teaching parents how to navigate the school system. Dropping off clothes at the local women’s shelter. Whatever it is, I believe it all starts with that list so you know how to regenerate the goodness in you. 

My inspiration for writing this post came from Sydette - @blackamazon.bsky.social. Thanks for the inspiration - to write and to fight.