I ruined a lot of hobbies trying to be perfect in my childhood. Basketball, for example. My mom was a two sport college athlete, so she was ecstatic to find that her first child had been born much taller than her. Once I shot up past my grandmother and then my mom, it was decided that I would grow up to be a basketball player at UNC. Not by me, but by my family. No small goals in my family - just win the lottery or play basketball at one of the best programs in the country. No big deal. 

In order to shape me into the D1 basketball player they decided I would be, I had to practice. But I didn’t just go shoot some hoops. No, I did drills in my backyard and on military base courts each night. Every time I missed a shot or pass, I would start the drill over. My mom and I would play far after all the other kids went home for dinner. 

In the 6th grade, I tried out for my first school basketball team. I made the team and played with some of the best players I had ever seen. In my own teenage ignorance, the lesson I took from those talented people wasn’t to watch and learn from them. I just realized I wasn’t perfect. With that, my love for the game slipped away. I wasn’t the best so I didn’t see the point. 

I can tell you that story about a lot of the things I loved to do. It wasn’t until I realized I should be learning from other people who are brilliant and talented that I started to find activities I loved. Writing, for one. I almost gave up after spending weeks working on my college essay, worried it just wouldn’t be good enough. Years later, I’d walk away from a “good job” and start my company because I was so mad after my manager tried to tell me I had no talent as a writer. True story. 

Now, try being perfect while you start a company or work on the road from a van. I promise you’ll feel unhappy. I know from personal experience. It creates pressure to figure out the next thing when there is no roadmap or timeline. There’s no one right way. But your perfectionism will absolutely let you believe that if you listen to it enough. 

As that little part of perfectionist in me started to speak up this week, Andy Storch shared this quote. Andy is a great source for inspiration and L&D community - you should follow him. What he shared was this:

“No one knows what they’re doing. Not even the ones with degrees, big job titles, or the people on your vision board. Everyone is just trying loudly, failing loudly, and trying again. And so should you.”

@yung_pueblo

We all have a little perfectionist inside. The part of us that wants to quit when we can’t figure it out or be the best. I just want to remind you, to remind myself even more, that the joy of doing the thing you love is worth sacrificing perfection. That a special gift we can give ourselves (and maybe our inner child that still wants to be perfect, too) is the gift of imperfection.