I don’t really watch television unless I’m on a very long flight. There’s only so much work I’m willing to do at 30,000 feet without a decent Wi-Fi connection. If I were judged on my ability to bear with delays and pauses while trying to think, I would be judged harshly. I just can’t think with forced interruptions.
So, on my flight from Iceland to Chicago this week, I decided to watch a movie at the beginning and end with some writing in the middle. My final film of the trip was Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain. At the end, his friend David Chang shares a haunting email he got from Anthony just weeks before he committed suicide.
All it said was: “You are successful. I am successful. Are you happy?”
Upon hearing this, I hit pause. Stood up and turned on my laptop to write this week’s letter to all of you.
As far as being happy, I would say I am. But I don’t want to dive into happiness today. I want to talk about success - all too fitting during the week where I spoke at my bucket list event, SHRM’s national convention.
See, I spent most of my life with a vision of success so tightly aligned with money that I couldn’t feel joy without a price tag attached. Somewhere inside of me, I needed money to know I was successful. No matter what I did, who I impacted, the only bottom line lived at the bottom of my bank account.
Over the last few years taking on adventures I simply never imagined, I know that success has very little to do with how much money I have. My happiness isn’t found in a budget or bottom line.
It is not planned. If I stuck with my five year plan, I would have undervalued myself. I would never have known what it means to find happiness in unknown places.
It is found in growing up and growing out of the patterns that always made me hate myself. It is doing things I simply never thought I could, like climbing a mountain made of sand.
If I could make one wish for each of you, it's that you find a way to redefine your success. It's not at work. It's not sitting in the driveway, on a bank statement, or purchased at a mall. While I think all of those things create ease, I know now that success is how you get to live. Growth you can feel. It is finding yourself in parts unknown - internally and externally - and seeing the beauty in it all even when we can’t make sense of it.
